Allies wanted
jen bradd

"An ally to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people is someone who seeks to educate the campus community, counter homophobic attitudes, and promote equal respect and treatment for everyone."- SFU queer ally project team, 1999.

Situation #1:

Pauline and Therese are walking their Labrador down Davie Street, holding hands, when they come across their friend Eric at their favorite cafe. Yoo-hooing and waving his latte at them, Eric calls, "Good-morning, sweethearts, how are you? You'll oh-my-goodness- never guess what your little princess did last night at the club" and launches into a story while Pauline whispers to Therese, "Why does he have to act so gay? I mean, we don't act like that, flaunting it everywhere."

What would a queer ally do?

Best Friend #1 to Best Friend #2: "Eww . . . that's so stupid. It's so gay!"

What would a queer ally do?

Lab partners Steve and Suhinder are at the gym, lifting weights when Suhinder says, "I just want you to know that I accept that you're gay." To which Steve replies, "You accept that I'm gay? Do you accept the fact that I'm black, too?"

What would a queer ally do?

First-year student Rachel asks her roommate Tanya, "Hey, do you want to go to a movie with me and my best friend Alia on Friday? And I'm okay if you want your girlfriend to come too and you wanna hold hands and stuff." Gee, thanks, Rachel, I think.

What would a queer ally do?

Repulsion, acceptance, and even tolerance - these are all levels of homophobia and they affect everyone. Straight or queer, we've all been caught self-censoring our behaviour and language to protect ourselves or protect others from the evils that are spawned from non-gender-role appropriate behavior.

We self-censor by not speaking up in class to include a non-heterosexual opinion and say, "Well, no, I don't think all sexually active women are on the Pill." We qualify gender neutral anecdotes with "I'm not gay but (I think she's got really nice legs)." We're not willing in the middle of a seminar to back up someone else who's talking about a queer perspective because "What will people think?" Whether the environment is safe or not, we tread on the side of caution and assume it's not.

Still don't think you're impacted by homophobia 'cause you don't have any gay friends and don't talk trash like that? Still don't think it's your problem? Until we're all free to express ourselves however we wish, none of us will be able to with complete freedom.

What if someone mistakenly labelled your sexuality as lesbian? (Maybe the traitorous rainbow on your shirt tipped them off.) Just how comfortable would you be? Would you correct them right away? Would you let the mistake sort itself out? What would an ally do?

We all contribute to an environment of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered invisibility at one point or another. "Well, I don't care if you're gay, Liz, it doesn't matter." Conversation over - but talking about it just might matter to her.

There's not much room to maneuver even in an academic setting where words reign supreme if you want people to question your sexuality just for the fun of it. "But you're not gay, so what do you care?" Those who identify as straight get stuck, too, into the requirements (whose, anyway?) of constantly needing to look and act hyper-hetero.

We've all been trained so well that we perpetuate the machine of mandatory heterosexuality, and queers do train themselves to an extreme degree and pick up cues of homophobia from each other. Like how straight girls can hold hands in the street and not think twice, but two women who've been in a relationship for four months hide it from their parents by barely hugging good-bye and hello in front of them.

So, as complacent as we can become between Vancouver Lotus Land and a TV-land full of gay punch lines, the LGBTQ community needs allies, straight and queer alike. You could be the most militant ally, a petition-signing powerhouse with a well-informed opinion and be straight, and you could be gay and not be an ally at all.

Where to start? Get visible. How about this Wednesday? The Queer Ally Program at SFU targets students, staff and faculty who are willing to identify themselves as individuals who are committed to respect, openness, and the celebration of the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, and questioning) community.

As allies, members of the university community commit themselves to not only being supportive of the community through a willingness to discuss LGBTQ issues and serve as a campus-wide support network for LGBTQ students, but also to be active advocates on behalf of LGBTQ issues in the community. Individuals who identify as allies accept the fact that they are part of the LGBTQ community, and act on behalf of the dominant institutional culture to impact positive social change for LGBTQ persons who feel oppressed by their campus community.

And now that you're saying, "Hey, yeah, my roommate just came out as bisexual and now how can I really show my support and celebrate with him?" The Queer Ally program requires that allies participate in an interactive training module that provides them the opportunity to learn about LGBTQ culture, community, history, identity development, and resources.

The training module is a human-sized board game originally called "Straight but Not Narrow - the Home Game" and was developed by Chris McGrath, Assistant Director of Residence Life on campus, and Erika Nestor at the University of Vermont. It will be launched campus-wide on Wednesday February 23 in the Safe Study Area in the AQ, and is open to everyone. And because you're not allies yet, I'll make it easier this one time: you don't have to be queer to play (when you graduate as trained allies you won't get away with it that easy anymore).

When you complete the program, you will receive an ally card and certificate to hang in an office window, an RA door, or wherever you choose. Ally cards and buttons are not meant to say anything about one's sexual orientation, political or religious perspective, or personal life. Their sole purpose is to define and identify people and spaces where personal safety, commitment to diversity, and mutual respect prevail.

Their presence will not only help students feel more comfortable approaching you with queries and concerns because it's a symbol of an educated ally (and not just a sticker on a door like rainbow flags you see at laundromats), but their visible presence will help to create a network of allies across campus.

Where else can you show your allied support for LGBTQ people? At Out on Campus, of course, the queer centre in the Rotunda, where we don't ask you to wear a sexual orientation nametag when you come in. Allies are welcome in the centre, allies are welcome in the centre, allies are welcome in the centre. (Your profs repeat themselves three times too, I thought it might give me an air of respect.)

Come borrow our library books for your next project, just hang out and eat popcorn at a free movie night, or help put together our next zine. Out on Campus is not about needing a queer-only space as much as it is about needing a queer-run (and safe) space that works to serve the campus community in the struggle against homophobia and invisibility. So why is it like this? Why aren't we afraid of having our coffee maker and pool table overrun with well-intentioned allied heterosexuals? We need to pull together across boundaries of gender and sexual orientation and work together until heterosexuality, in its contrived and stereotyped form, is not mandatory for anyone.

By affecting some directly, these are issues that affect us all. Look for Project Ally in the James Douglas Safe Study Area, bottom floor AQ on Wednesday at 12:30. [ The opinions presented here are the author's, and do not necessarily reflect those of The Peak. This space is here for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Articles should be 1000-1200 words. For more information, call our Features Editor at 291-4630 or e-mail features@mail.peak.sfu.ca. Say anything, the last word is yours! ]

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