Dynamize Me! Medical Quackery Past And Present

In 1909, an unusual new theory of healing appeared on the American medical scene. It was called "spondylotherapy," and its creator, Dr. Albert Abrams, claimed that this technique enabled him to diagnose and cure disease, simply by rapidly and percussively hammering a patient's spine. In spite of a critical response from the medical establishment, Abrams was quick to find supporters for his revolutionary theory, and spent years touring and explaining (for a considerable fee, of course) the wonders of this technique to scores of budding spondylotherapists.

A few years later, a new breakthrough from Dr. Abrams rocked the medical world, and if the first one sounded implausible, this one absolutely took the cake. This time, Abrams had invented a machine, called the "dynamizer," that could, based on a single drop of blood from a patient or even a signature, determine not only the illness(es) with which the patient was afflicted, but the patient's age, sex, race, and even religion! Abrams derived these fascinating medical and personal insights by simply placing the blood or handwriting sample in the dynamizer, which was connected by means of an electrode to the forehead of a healthy male lab assistant, who stood stripped to the waist, facing West, under dim lighting conditions. The dynamizer was switched on, and Abrams percussed the abdomen of his lab assistant, interpreting the vibratory patterns this produced into his diagnosis and personality profile.

Again, the medical community was skeptical of Abrams, but this didn't stop him from amassing an even larger following of patients and practitioners. Imagine their delight when Abrams introduced them to yet another device, the "occiloclast," which could painlessly cure the diseases the dynamizer diagnosed! By emitting electronic vibrations that precisely matched the "electronic vibration frequency" of the disease(s) a patient had, the occiloclast was able to effectively "shatter" the disease(s) and make the person healthy again! And what's more, for an extra fee this remarkable process could even be done over the phone! Thousands of Abrams practitioners were soon paying considerable sums of money to lease these remarkable devices, so that they could heal thousands more patients eager to forsake stodgy old modern medicine for the painless and wonderfully high-tech Abrams techniques. As one might expect, Abrams became very, very rich.

The cracks were soon to form, however, as the medical community was not at all pleased to see Abrams' wacky theory enjoying such popularity. Skeptical doctors sent Abrams a variety of blood samples that were purported to be from human patients, but were in reality taken from a variety of animals. Thus, a sheep was diagnosed as suffering from hereditary syphilis, and an 11-week-old rooster was diagnosed with a sinus infection and bad teeth. Another case was diagnosed as "general cancer and tuberculosis of the genito-urinary tract." Clearly, something was not quite right about the Abrams method.

Then, one of Abrams' occiloclasts was opened to reveal a collection of useless electrical components wired haphazardly together in a totally meaningless manner, prompting physicist Robert Millikan to declare, "They are the kind of device a ten-year-old boy would build to fool an eight-year-old." The cracks were quickly growing wider.

By the time these criticisms started to effect his medical empire in early 1924, however, Abrams didn't much care. He was too busy dying of pneumonia and leaving behind an estate valued at over two million dollars, which speaks volumes both to the healing powers of the medical devices he created, and the gullibility of his followers.

The unlikely story of Dr. Albert Abrams, as well as the exploits of some of history's other great con artists, will be featured in an upcoming A&E TV special entitled Scams, Schemes and Scoundrels on March 30. This locally-produced program is hosted by noted skeptic James Randi, and features contributions from two SFU professors, Barry Beyerstein (Psychology) and Martin Laba (Communications). The Peak recently spoke with Dr. Beyerstein about this TV production, medical quackery in the 1990s, and the psychology of the scam.

Peak: What kind of medical quackery is going on today that could be compared to Albert Abrams? Is there a 90's equivalent of the Abrams cult? Beyerstein: "That's the saddest part about it-- if he changed his clothes and clipped his beard a little differently, he could be, and is, incarnate right downtown in Vancouver right now... If you pick up any issue of Common Ground, the local New Age newspaper, and open the back pages, you'll find quacks who are every bit as ridiculous, egregious and blatant as Abrams ever was, and they're making just as good a living as he did, and with no more to sell than he had. It's sort of depressing that people never seem to learn from the past."

Peak: What about the regulatory bodies that monitor the health industries? Have they learned from past experiences with Abrams and his ilk? Is it much more difficult to be a quack medical con artist in the 1990s? Beyerstein: "Well, you have to be a little more circumspect these days, because the FDA in the United States and the Health Protection branch of Health and Welfare Canada are a little bit more vigilant these days about medical devices that people sell without proving their safety and efficacy. I've had lots to do with the people from Health and Welfare Canada, and I respect them-- they're trying to do a good job, but they are absolutely inundated by the "Alternative Medicine" movement, and they are so understaffed that they have to go after a few select cases for the publicity value, rather than really do the job they would like to. I feel sorry for them. It must be extremely frustrating and easy to burn out in a situation like that, because they know they're doing important work, and they're just not given the resources to carry it out. So they have to pick and choose only the most egregious and the most potentially harmful of these things. As a result of this, just bilking people out of their money often isn't enough [to get shut down], you have to bilk them in a way that is actively harmful."

The line between relatively harmless and harmful bilking is sometimes very fuzzy indeed. In these pages you will see a gallery of questionable medical devices from throughout the Twentieth Century, and, taking a bit of inspiration from Dr. Beyerstein, a selection of today's questionable devices as advertised in the March 1997 issue of Common Ground. Clearly, the art of the con is far from dead, and researchers such as Beyerstein are very interested in the mechanisms that underlie scams, from the simple to the complex.

Peak: The Scams, Schemes and Scoundrels TV program also deals with famous con artists such as Victor Lustig, who managed to sell the Eiffel Tower for scrap twice, and Hans Van Meegeren, who pulled off some of the most remarkable art hoaxes of the Twentieth Century. Do you think this kind of show is important in that it makes the public more aware of how unlikely and off-the-wall a scam can be? Beyerstein: "Yes, I think it is. On one hand, the stories are wonderful, it's great to be entertaining and informative at the same time. On the other hand, do I think that it will cause people to think twice and not be taken themselves? Probably not, because one of the things I've found in my work as a skeptic is that people keep asking, "can't you give us a blueprint so we can't be taken?" The answer is no! As soon as you think you've got a blueprint that will protect you, you're the biggest mark in town. You think you've seen it all, and you think you'll recognize [a scam] coming at you... but in fact, you've only let your guard down."

Peak: So, it's very hard to protect people from intelligently crafted scams, then? Beyerstein: "While it's true that you can teach people some general principles that do seem to be general to a variety of scams, one of the things we've found is that people have trouble applying these principles to specific situations. In other words, you can give people general principles, but if the situation [they encounter] is just a little different, and it appeals to the "wishful thinking" aspect, which most cons do, they still get taken. And the irony is, people who get conned by a con artist often get conned a second time! It's that bad-- they go looking for the con artist, wanting to wring his neck for taking them and making fools out of them, and they end up going away leaving more money in his lap. That's one of the reasons I'm fascinated by all of this as a psychologist."

Peak: If further TV projects on the subject of scams and quackery materialize, are there any particular scams or subjects you'd like to explore? Beyerstein: "If [the producers of the show] were to do more, I would personally like to spend more time on the psychology of the con-- it isn't just gullible fools that get taken! I'd like to explore why these things succeed-- what all the successful perpetrators seem to have in common psychologically, what elements successful scams have in common that makes them work, and what the marks who were taken have in common-- there's a lot of interesting psychology there, and I think it could be done up for TV in an interesting and entertaining manner."

The TV Special Scams, Schemes and Scoundrels will be airing on A&E at 5pm and 9pm Sunday March 30.

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