Slim options for battered men

Imagine this scenario. Your lover is constantly abusing you, and you've finally decided to seek help. You're not a woman- -you're a gay male, and the options are less than slim.

For years, support groups, shelters and emergency hotlines have been available for battered women. But an increase in reported incidents for violence in male same sex relationships forced many organizations to expand services for gay needs.

Steven Easton, founder of The Easton Alliance for the Prevention of Family Violence in Toronto said his agency survived primarily through the community's goodwill and a dedicated staff. Established in March 1993, The Easton Alliance addresses the special needs of male victims of domestic abuse in both heterosexual and homosexual communities.

"Primarily we deal with domestic violence in heterosexual relationships, and many of the support services are directed in that focus," Easton said. "But that doesn't mean that we don't assist men who come out of abusive homosexual relationships."

Still, he remarked on the differing needs of battered gay men from other groups of victims. "We've been able to provide them with support, offer them some resources and help them in their recovery process," he said.

Battered funding

As experienced by many Ontario-based social service agencies, The Easton Alliance is in constant battle with a lack of funds. Moreover, male agencies suffer from their low priority for government subsidization.

"The money is allocated through one central agency, which is The Ontario Women's Directorate," Easton explained. "Just in the name itself you can sort of see a conflict that we would run into."

Emphasizing the hardships of scant funding, Easton feels there is great lack of public gay male shelters. "Although we are the only agency in Canada that I'm aware of that does the kind of work that we do, we are also probably one of the poorest."

Victim Assistance Programme coordinator Karen Baldwin explains that most Metro shelters welcome men, but none deal exclusively with abused gay males.

"As far as I know there's nothing in North America," she said. "If they're under the age of 25, they might be able to go to one of the youth shelters, but for men over 25, the only sort of shelters are hostels.

Neither the youth shelters nor the hostels are guaranteed to be safe for a gay man."

Sympathizing with their dilemma, Baldwin encourages gay male victims to call the Gay and Lesbian Bashing Reporting and Information Line when they need help. The service provides information, referrals, resources, assistance with police reporting and medical treatment assistance.

Celebrating their 25th anniversary next year, the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre internal manager, counsellor and line support staffer Deb Parent says they have also received calls from battered gay men, but notes staffers and clientele are largely female.

"Most of our counselling right now, if not all of our counselling, is with women. That is our priority, to meet the demands of women, including lesbians," Parent said.

Although male victims do not receive one on one counselling, Parent says gay male callers obtain equal treatment to abused lesbians and heterosexual women. But if the abuse continues, and the line fails to repair a violent relationship, help is hard to find.

"I don't know that there exists a shelter for battered men," she said. "At least in heterosexual terms, they tend to be the exception rather than the rule."

Shelter scarcity

Lesbians have options," said Laurie Chesley, social worker and team leader of the David Kelley programme dealing with lesbians and gays at Family Services in Toronto. "The same resources are not available to gay men."

Like Baldwin, Chesley knows of Metro shelters established for young men, but none exclusively for gay men. "In many cases, these existing shelters are filled with heterosexual men, and are not an option for gay men," she said.

However, many organizations are trying to offer more. As many groups open their doors and telephone lines, they attract more support from the police. For detective Dino Doria of Toronto Police Hate Crimes Unit, reporting the incident is the first step to resolve harmful disputes.

"Early intervention is the best prevention," he said. "(Victims) have to report it, at least to a community agency. That is paramount to entering the criminal justice system."

Although Easton hopes social service programmes will find the means to further develop programmes and shelters for abused men, he plans to continue to lend a helping hand through raising funds.

"People tend to get caught up in their ideologies and less in the humanity of the situation," he says.

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