Who is Fred Alexander Sharpe? He's the Kramer-esque (or perhaps Jughead Jones-ish, if he had the little hat) Ph.D. candidate from the Dill lab who has been doing work on Humpback whales for the past few years. His first degree was in botany, from the University of Washington, and his next project might just be dumpster-diving, though he hasn't decided what apparel would be appropriate yet. At this point it seems that he's leaning towards loud Hawaiian prints, though he wasn't averse to the suggestion of convocation robes. He decided to come to SFU while he was cross-border shopping for a post-graduate degree.

Fred has been growing up in the Pacific Northwest for the past 38 years and has spent a considerable amount of time living in the less-habited parts of the region. Some of his favourite spots are the San Juan and Gulf Islands, but anywhere with a low density of humans per square kilometre holds a certain attraction for him.

Fred's incredible desire for solitude is something that came out early and often in the course of our interview. Right now he's living on his boat (at a secret, undisclosed location) enjoying the sorts of pursuits that that isolation affords him. Without the distractions of phone, fax, and pesky reporters from The Peak, he says can follow his thoughts through to their logical conclusion and spend time dealing with the drunken monkey that rages inside of him.

Drunken monkeys aside, I was excited to interview Fred because I wanted to get the lowdown on the myths and legends about him that circulate through the biology department. This man, accused of hanging out in the shed at the Bamfield Marine Station in order to avoid talking to the other grad students, is reported to have lived in the wilds atop Burnaby Mountain for the past few years and to have strode down Commercial Drive in full ninja gear (including a sword). Fred Sharpe fills and exceeds all the "Character on Campus" criteria.

Q. Is it true that you walked down Commercial Drive in full ninja gear, complete with a sword?

A. Well, we've got certain operations that we're doing and it does require sometimes that we engage in protracted maneuvers.

Q. Who's "we"?

A. It's the Cult of the Ninja, of course.

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up, assuming that that point ever arrives?

A. I'm not really sure that I'm cut out for the whole professional academic trajectory; in fact, I'm sure I'm not. I want to keep more on things like keeping the lab refrigerator stocked with beer.

Q. What's the worst job that you've ever had?

A. One time I was working in a restaurant and they had me in the back washing dishes but they were pumping in this muzak and that was pretty excruciating until I was able to pack the speakers with mashed potatoes. It got better from there.

Q. What do you think your best feature is?

A. Probably getting over chain link fences in a hurry when I see trouble show up.

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